Don't Try This At Home

Today I managed to ruin both a dinner plate and a tea towel with a single stick of unattended incense. And just as I was starting to mentally prepare myself for the fire safety lecture I was certain I would be subjected to, I stepped outside to see that James had left a bag of garbage next to the front door. That's right folks, the man forgot to take the garbage down to the dumpster and left it on our doorstep for all the world to smell. From where I sit this looks like a tie game, and I am thinking I am probably going to get away with tea towel arson without so much as a dirty look. Amen and hallelujah, and who says all the fun stops after the honeymoon?

Finger-Licking Good

Me: Are you here for the giant raccoon?

Animal Control Officer: No. I'm here for the cougar.

Me: Cougar?!?

Animal Control Officer: Yes. We've had a report of a cougar on the other side of your building.

Me: Yikes!

Animal Control Officer: I suggest you get inside.

Me: Okay.

Animal Control Officer: And take that cougar-snack of a dog with you.